Capitalism has made it easy to access everything with the click of a button. Uber. Amazon. Deliveroo.
When don’t we know… that the best things come to those who wait? 😛
I’ve been living in Portugal since February … and if you didn’t know (I sure didn’t), Portugal doesn’t have Amazon(!).
When I arrived and realized that there are still corners of the world that don’t experience the thrill of next day delivery… I panicked. Because as a momma, if baby Mia needed something specific … the idea of going on a wild goose chase around a foreign country to find it is daunting, exhausting & frightening all at once. Doing this would be hard enough as an adult, doing it with an easily bored little one is a hard no for me 🤪
So I held my breath, said a little prayer to the material needs gods and hoped we wouldn’t need anything super obscure in the next few months.
But upon arrival in Portugal we knew we needed a few toys. Specifically, a bouncer of some kind where we could contain Mia (who had started crawling already) if we needed to do a few chores. So instead of my normal default - aka using Amazon - we found a Toys ‘R Us at a shopping mall. The Toys R Us only had 1 of these bouncers left…and it was the display. Which also happened to be broken.
My fears came true. I was forced to wait to buy my desperately needed bouncer.
I didn’t want to keep hunting down toy stores, so I started looking at regular online store purchase options (like, not Amazon). In doing so, I discovered some of the products on Amazon Spain delivered to Portugal! There was a shipping fee if you spent less than €29, and delivery was 3-5 days… but at least I could get things using a familiar and trustworthy brand.
This version of waiting (3-5 days) felt more palatable.
What I didn’t realize was that being forced to wait in this capacity would have a profound (read: good) impact on my purchasing behavior.
Firstly, I started placing things into my cart before buying (because of a €29 minimum for free shipping). Anytime I revisited the app I re-looked at my cart and deleted things that weren’t truly necessary for us to have.
Secondly, I intentionally thought about the urgency in which I needed something. If it was truly urgent, I just went and got it at a local shop.
And thirdly, if I didn’t like it I probably couldn’t return it… so I was very discerning in what I chose to purchase.
Because of this, I stopped buying toys without thinking in moments I was exhausted of entertaining Mia.
I stopped compromising on items that looked “good enough” and instead did my research on the truly perfect item for us.
I stopped purchasing based on potential future needs, and instead waited to see if the need genuinely arose.
In other words, I became intentional in my purchasing behavior.
And not from a place of “I need to save”… but instead from a place of “do I really need this thing”.
These are changes I am so grateful I was forced to make … changes I will be carrying with me even after leaving Portugal.
So what’s the message here? Well, I’m glad you asked 🥰
Take a moment to think … where in your life do you need to be forced to wait?
Where would inserting a brief, yet bloated pause transform your life?
I found myself applying this lesson as I was creating a new definition of success for myself with my coach. As we were talking, I found clarity in that I wanted to go from focusing on becoming a good mother to being a good family member.
And while this knowing of my trajectory needing to be related to family life (rather than just motherhood) was true, my coach reflected back to me that I was rushing things.
Of courseeee I was. Speedy Gonzalez Kelly!!
Sometimes, speed & self motivation are great qualities to posses. But sometimes, it causes us to dart down the wrong path, and a short while later we frustratedly realize we have to double back on ourselves.
So I am forcing myself to pause. To reassess through tried & tested practices I use with my clients to see if this new vision I have for myself is indeed correct (and I can already tell you I was at least slightly wrong in my instinctual first definition!).
I often preach (and teach) that slowing down *just* enough to be *sure* you’re taking the right next step can be absolutely transformational. It ensures you stay motivated, use your energy efficiently & the momentum you create isn’t dragging you in the wrong direction!
And yet sometimes I cannot see myself (obvs!). Thankfully, the universe gifts me the lessons I need to learn day in and day out. And this one - the lesson that being forced to (briefly) wait will always benefit you - has proven itself worthy yet again.
—and if you also feel you are in need of re-defining success in a slower & intentional manner, I’m now registering interest for the grand opening of The Re-Invention Room—