Controversial opinion: baby toys are a complete sham. They hold little ones interest for all of 15 minutes, if you’re lucky.
I say this as I’ve been observing that I feel *really tired* while parenting lately.
Largely in part because my daughter, Mia, has started using her newfound ability of crawling to scurry around the house.
The chasing makes me tired, and so I try to throw new & exciting toys at her to catch a break.
But after 15 minutes the toys are boring, so Mia just goes on crawling again. You see the conundrum, and the vicious cycle!
So with my last bit of energy, this morning I put on my coaching hat and decided to intentionally observing my parenting style.
And what I saw … was rather than observing my reality, I was fighting it.
My reality was that I needed to do something different to support my ever developing baby girl. To not try to placate her boredom for a moment (a la Netflix for adults) with a shiny new toy, but to actually create an environment that suits her stage of development.
In reality, it meant I spent the morning experimenting so I could learn what held her interest for more than 15 minutes.
I found that walking around in nature did not captivate her. Trees are unfortunately boring to almost 9 months olds 😅 But playing in the grass / sand / dirt was fun!
I found that doing household chores with mom tended to hold her interest. But it had to be noisy, interesting stuff with movement. Think vacuuming, putting away dishes, or cooking. Not just wiping down tables.
I found playing with inanimate toys rarely got her going. Objects had to do cool things like change temperature, rip into tiny pieces or change states of matter to hold her focus.
And then, I realized something quite simple and obvious - and yet and I had been missing it! She wanted to interact with me and our dog more than objects. She wanted to throw & kick the ball with me, rather than hold it on her own. She wanted to shake a toy in front of our dog’s face, rather than play with it on her own.
As I thought this, I realized that these activities that held Mia’s interest felt very tiring for an already tired momma. Tiring because it’s new & different - alongside being more physical.
But here I am, encouraging myself to adjust as I would my clients. And if I’m being honest - I’m also being forced to 😛
Because babies do not allow for us to provide them the quick fix. Well, not for long at least. Mia is highlighting to me that the quick fix is literally just that - a quick fix. It placates an underlying problem (that she’s outgrown her environment) … but that problem is still present - yes even after the YouTube video ends.
So off I go… researching 12 month old development. Figuring out how to get crafty with the things we have that can appease her growing intellect. Which begs the question… if we are willing to do this for our babies, why won’t we do it for ourselves?
Why when we sense boredom do we just chuck the same old tricks at it (Netflix, boozing, dinners out). Or even the same old fancier tricks (reading books, exercising, going to gigs or cultural events)?
These things all have a place, yes. But what if we realize that when we’re bored— we have grown. That it’s time to change our environment. To surround ourself with new ideas & people.
But first - and very importantly - we must remember to clear out the stale aspects of our lives that are taking precious time and energy. Because we cannot continue to “add to” - we already live life at 110% capacity.
Babies naturally clear out what no longer is serving them. They let that once valuable / precious / perfect toy rot in its drawer. They don’t mind they once loved it sooo dearly. Or that it cost money to acquire. Or that it will “go to waste”. They so beautifully don’t even understand these last 2 concepts!
So yes, changing your environment will require energy. You will feel more tired for a moment. But after you do…well your environment will sustain & energize you!!
(And for a lot longer than then developmental rollercoaster that infants go through in needing new environments every 2-3 months.)
So go clear out your old toys. Cancel the stale subscriptions. Remove the habits that no longer serve you.
And from this spacious place, build yourself the environment that current you very clearly needs 😘