Don't be *that girl* that drives to the top of the mountain
Climb your way up through joy & purpose
In a sea of Zara floral patterned midi dresses, nannies pushing Bugaboo strollers & artisan coffee shops, a woman is contemplating going from earning the equivalent of £250,000 per year as a coach …to £25,000 per year as a childminder.
That woman is me.
I know deep in my bones which path I will choose and yet my mind cannot process it. So I’m here, writing about it. Not exactly sure where I’ll end up - but hoping I won’t ramble (too) too much.
As I look to cut my earnings potential by 90%, I’m acutely aware that this decision feels so hard thanks to my ego.
Mr. Ego. The devil on our shoulders.
Sadly, being a childcare worker is just not an esteemed profession. It lies in the ranks of any service based professional, which means you are a tool first and a human second. Mr. Ego does not like this.
I’m used to being at a client’s beck and call (I have been a consultant after all), but the interactions I’ve been having with potential childminder clients (aka parents) feel…different. What I can surmise so far, is that it’s not at all about the fact they are paying me to do the work (which means I am indebted to them as my client), but rather that I’m expected to do their bidding because of where I live on the social ladder. My needs are less important than their needs, simply because because their needs pay them more money than mine do.
Mr. Ego likes to feel valued. And as much as people recognize me for my parenting approach and success in raising my baby girl so far, I am not paid a single dime for the blood, sweat, tears, achy joints nor bad back I endure.
As a professional childminder, I am only worthy of being paid £10/hr for the blood, sweat, teachers achy joints & bad back I will endure taking care of other people’s children.
There are a lot of (good) reasons that childcare isn’t as expensive as hiring a Leadership Coach. Namely - everyone needs to be able to access childcare given our current societal structures, even with little to no income themselves.
And yet when someone goes from making £150/hr to £10/hr… how do they stay motivated? How do they tell Mr. Ego to bugger off? (Asking for a friend 😛)
What I’m coming to find is that the answer is two-fold: higher purpose and joy.
Joy is me spending time with my daughter. There is no perfect equation to tell me how much it is worth, but I think most parents would happily earn 80% of their current salary to be able to spend 1 more day a week with their children. They would cut expenses, choosing simplistic time together over extravagances or experiences.
Many parents might say that is as far as they could go. Considering taking a cut to 60% of their salary would not be worth it, it would require serious lifestyle adjustments. And also… it would begin to materially affect their value. Their worth.
As we all know, we all just want to feel worthy at the end of the day. Like we are enough. That we have accomplished enough. That we have created enough impact.
And yet this is it!! We already have! We impact the people in our lives in profound ways by simply existing. I created human life for goodness sake!
And yet… here comes our friend Mr. Money. The cousin of Mr. Ego. Sadly, the amount of moolah we can earn for an hour of our time heavily impacts our “enoughness”. Especially when you live in a neighborhood full of high flying, corporate executives who buy into the fact that getting chummy with Mr. Money is in fact the goal.
There are too many fancy people, things & houses around me to allow for me to take a 90% pay cut in service of joy. If joy alone can’t get me over the finish line - nor will it you. In comes higher purpose.
I am becoming a childminder not just because spending time with my daughter brings me joy, but it brings me one step closer to my purpose.
We never know what our “purpose” is until we arrive (annoying, I know!), and yet I have a suspicion that my purpose has to do with community. Something about making people feel they truly feel a part of their communities - both physical and virtual - through giving more than they receive. Feeling needed at a core level. Experiencing alchemy and serendipity — magic — in their days once again.
Childminding weaves me into the fabric of my community’s lives in a way that I have never experienced. Not only do they need me as a tool, but as someone who is guiding their most precious creation — their children. I also believe they will come to rely on me not only as a guide for their children, but for their family unit. I do also guide adults, after all.
So do I know if taking a 90% pay cut is “worth it” in service of joy and alignment with my potential higher purpose? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
And this is what is killing me. I have to leap without knowing if my leap is going to pay off. Pay off. There it is - the sneaky little money man again.
So I say to Mr. Money … this decision is not about you.
It’s about trusting that the universe has my back. It’s about trying something that truly “makes no sense”. It’s about putting my money where my mouth is, and choosing joy & service over profits.
It’s fundamentally about being of true service — maybe for the first time in my life.
And if you too come to this moment of needing to choose joy & higher purpose while telling Mr. Money to f*** right off, I hope you remember that the best views always come after the toughest climbs.