How I use a task manager to help me do less, not more
A 2 pronged system to become a *human being* (rather than a human doing)
Hi friends —
Here at Womanhood, we love a woman who has a bias to action. We also know that women tend to take on too much, too fast.
So today, Kelly is sharing a two pronged system for discerning when & what she gives her energy to. Specifically, she uses her task manager to help her *not do* things in moments that are incorrect, or on timelines that aren’t quite right.
This newsletter is for those of you who find yourself often busy with things you wish you hadn’t committed to doing. Or having conversations that don’t “land” in the way you had hoped. Or continue to find your time with yourself the last thing on the to-do list.
Read on, because by learning how Kelly systematized being a *human being*… you might have the courage to stop doing so damn much, too.
A professional juggling act
Last week I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen for a while, and as we slowly covered all facets of life… I couldn’t believe how many balls I had in the air! Like… too many.
Right now *outside of paid work* I am:
Preparing to list our house for sale
Growing a baby (already 8 months pregnant 😅)
Experimenting with more sustainable ways to land (interesting) consulting work
Writing this newsletter (& posting 1-2x a week to LinkedIn)
Launching a Neurodivergent community & charity (my first Director gig!)
Planning to travel for 4-6 months beginning in October (with 2 small children 🤣)
Doing the final edits to my first book
Intentionally networking & connecting with friends near & far
Doing some deep work on myself in preparation for the transition back to new motherhood
Keeping up my fitness with Reformer Pilates & Barre 1x per week each
Coaching some Gen Z women on their personal narrative / grad school applications
Managing my finances in a smart & strategic way
Teaching a 2.5 year old girl how to thrive in this wild world
And I want to do even more!!! Things like
Deeper research into the type of psychology of leadership I have championed
Figure out where our family should live next (we’re outgrowing our flat)
Invest in a small(er) business
Write a second fiction book (ok, I have 2 more ideas actually 🤣)
Support more female founded businesses / female supporting businesses succeed
I’ll be completely transparent with you all, because I really hate it when a person who makes me feel less than.
The reason I can do so much outside of paid work is because I only have done ~10 hours of paid work per week since January… and have only done 20-30 hours (on average) since 2020.
On top of this — yes I am highly self motivated, have one too many ideas, want to change the world, have an abundance of time & of course possess a bias to action 😛
And herein lies the problem.
I bloody love getting things done.
And the more I say yes to… the more I can *do*!
A System for Being
So as you can see, my tendency is to prioritize getting that dopamine hit of accomplishment. But I know this about myself — and over the years I’ve been tried to be more intentional about not overdoing it.
Finally — in the last 6 months, I’ve created a *system* that helps me be, rather than do. Because lord knows I really need it… if all of those balls are on my plate even with this sytem!!
This two pronged system contains:
A method to support me in my *being*
An approach to intentional action
Literally, this means I have tasks in my task manager for my being. Things like:
Practicing being Miss KK
Do nothing mornings
Activity planning with friends / fam
Make space for financial invitations
Can work be joy reflection
And because sharing is caring, here are a few screenshots of what this literally looks like!
And while at times there is something small to do (ie message a friend, or reflect on something) within these types of tasks… they are a far cry from sorting building works or picking my daughter up from nursery or sending an invoice or editing my book.
They’re gentle. Feminine. Intentional.
Let’s look at the “make space for Miss KK” one.. because that one I had going for nearly 75 days (as in a recurring, daily task) and recently removed it!
Within the task, I had this description:
For 3 months, every day I simply revisited this definition of success (Miss KK is the version of myself who lives this definition *in her bones*).
All I had to “do” was read the words, and feel if they rang true in my body that day. If it didn’t, or if I noticed I wasn’t living it much…. I went on a walk to reflect on it.
This could have been a “post-it on a mirror” sort of vibe, but the dopamine hit of ticking the task off my to-do list made me excited to do it, and helped me stick to it! So there it was.
And after 3 months of so of reading it… I felt I had become this definition of woman. I could simply be her, rather than each day make extra space for her to emerge 💫
The Waiting Game
The first part of my system helps me to drop into passive action. However, Kelly-from-6-months-ago also needed a mechanism to prevent over zealous action.
We all know the “wait 48 hours to purchase anything” concept… and I took this up a notch and applied this to my productive world (rather than a material one).
This meant I now force myself to take:
1-3 days to communicate important points to my partner, biz partner or close friends in my life
5-7 days to act on not important & not urgent business / life tasks
2 weeks to act on any ideas
Am I on the OCD spectrum? Maybe 🤔
I am saving myself an abundance of energy by doing this? Definitely 💯
Let me give you some examples:
Here is a task (with sub-bullets I won’t share out of my biz partner’s privacy!) that outlined a narrative I wanted to convey about how we work together. Things I know are really critical to communicate effectively, as we talk mostly via voice note. It took me 3-4 weeks to fill this one out, but when I went to communicate it — she totally got it, and her and I felt exactly on the same page!
I often put a more simple task in my task manager when I want to communicate something important but not urgent to my partner. When I do this, I can bring the topic up in a moment he has the space and energy to discuss it (rather than quickly spring it on him in the moment I am initially excited about it 🤣) and it forever lands beautifully!
Here I created a master task of research when I went down a rabbit hole of listening to inspiring psychology based podcasts. I wanted to do some follow ups *immediately* because I got such a buzz from listening to the podcast, but knew doing it in the next moment won’t allow me to really do it justice!
And finally, when I had another idea about my business (lol) I put it as a task for 2-4 weeks into the future and forget about it. When it shows up I do a sense check of if I should prioritize it in the short term, bump it another few weeks (as there’s some lack of clarity still) or kick it out to the “Idea Freezer” (which I check every 3-6 months). This has saved me INFINITE energy, and 99% of them get kicked out to the Idea Freezer!
This two pronged system is unbelievably impactful to both my relationship to self AND my relationship with those around me.
It forces me to build in a bit of space — resulting in not acting on the things that aren’t truly for me.
It also supports me to take time to simply be — in a world that recognizes masculine action much more than it does the feminine counterpart of gentle, intentional action.
But above all else, this system allows me to stay energized. It allows me to on the path to my definition of success, rather than somebody else’s. It creates space for magic in a world that demands panic.
I hope you find the time to build these into your life, too 🧚🏼♂️