Emails… the bane of many of our existences.
Are you the one with 3,000 unread messages? The one with tags, folders and auto filters? The one who uses their inbox as a to-do list?
Everyone has a different email management style that works for them. And yet every single person I know always has emails to answer.
Isn’t it the ultimate status symbol? There are people looking to grab your attention. Needing you. That dopamine hit of an invitation for your wisdom, advice, time or energy is something else… isn’t it.
I’d go so far as to say that a full inbox makes us feel confident. Secure. Successful even.
Am I hitting a nerve yet? 🙃
Now indulge me for a minute here. Imagine a world where you received no emails for a week. Nobody needed your professional wisdom or expertise. What does that make you feel?
Probably a bit sad. Deflated. Under-utilized. Bored. Uncomfortable.
In my little imaginary scenario, were you imagining you still had a full inbox? A backlog of enquiries still there for you to respond to may help relieve the discomfort of not receiving any new invitations. You could finally get around to the emails you had be procrastinating replying to.
Now imagine you have “inbox zero”. No emails in your inbox. All of them have been replied to. Every single one. And no new emails coming in. For a whole week.
Your email inbox is silent.
Crickets. It might feel itchy even just thinking about it. Because email inboxes are supposed to be busy. Full. Dynamic. Just like a cosmopolitan city center. Or a bustling & busy intersection.
Emails fluttering in and out of our inbox define some level of our worth, allow for some form of validation.
I had this reflection while on maternity leave. I was tending to a teeny tiny infant, and I STILL got sad when my inbox was quiet for more than 6 hours. The lack of attention was at times excruciating, even when I had the ultimate reason to not be working. I was needed by my baby, rather than the professional world.
I am obviously back to working again — and as I cleared my inbox and once again hit zero (something I do often), I noticed something. It felt peaceful. It felt like the middle of a mossy forest. It felt good to have turned down the noise.
It meant I could guilt free spend time with my baby girl.
I had the idea - could I take this one step further? I wanted a bubble of protection. I wanted the equivalent of making my profile private on Instagram. I wanted an email “BS” filter.
I want this filter to be one that contains my values. One that understands my worth. One that susses out quality. One that demands thoughtfulness & investment.
Because when I receive an email that is unaligned, insulting, haphazard or inconsiderate — well I’d simply rather not receive the email.
Because when I am on inbox zero, I can REALLY relax. I have absolutely nothing I HAVE to do. I can do anything I want. I can indulge myself completely. I can be fully present with my baby girl.
And I only want someone to be able to take that away from me if they truly deserve it.
I have started by adding a footer to my emails - “Please note: I tend to do my focused work on Mondays, Tuesdays & Wednesdays. If you email me outside of these days and it doesn't appear urgent - expect me to reply in due course.”
I’ve planted the first seed of some email energetic hygiene. Setting my own rules, and abiding by them.
I intentionally made this a footer rather than an auto-reply, as I am confident in my worth. I don’t need to proactively manage the emotions of those who email me. If they really need me I will obviously reply, and if they don’t they’ll see this footer upon my reply.
What I really wanted to do, however, was put up a filter to emailing me — some sort of form to fill out. To require thoughtfulness to take up my energetic space. Because inbox zero is one of my many forms of self care.
This anecdote highlights 2 key concepts I work on with my 1:1 coaching clients:
A step is better than no step. Don’t let the perfect solution feeling complicated / out of reach / hard to figure out stop you from moving towards the solution altogether.
Your energy is yours to protect, and there are infinite ways to do this. For some, emails are energizing. For most, emails are the bane of our 21st century existence. Creative solutions to common problems come in the most unassuming places, if you’re shown where to look 😛
So if you need quick, simple but creative solutions to managing your energy, I’d love a good challenge.
Warning: you might get more than you wish for.
Inbox zero used to make me feel like a loser. And now … inbox zero is my goal 💃🏽