Conversations about particularly messy divorces have been swirling about me lately. Maybe it’s because we’re that age where relationships are tried and tested (ahem, babies!). Maybe it’s because I’m meeting a lot of new people who have profound stories to tell.
What I’m noticing the theme is in these stories & reflections, is that there was a “bad” decision made. Poor judgement. A lack of discernment.
And much of this was due to young age. Or naivety. Meeting someone when you’re in your early 20’s, and then staying together because of inertia. When really, as you came of age (ok, somewhat of age) you began to realize your true values and the types of people who would empower you, rather than limit you.
This isn’t a story about divorces, however, it’s about decisions. What I’ve found myself contemplating, is can any decision be “bad”?
As a life long experimenter, I am of the mind that everything we do is meant to be learned from. And yet I have an objective decision to make in front of me that I have been witnessing myself class as one that will turn out good or bad. The dreaded binary I love to live in!
I’ve been open to Angel investing for about 6 months now, and every opportunity that came my way simply didn’t feel right. However, I’ve finally come across a small company that speaks to me from a mission perspective. It is also a high quality product. And most importantly, I resonate with the founder’s vibe and perspective on what energy she wishes to grow the business with (read: a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy!).
And yet $5,000 of my dollars is on the line. In the grand scheme of life, a small amount of money. But importantly (and regardless of check size), it is an energetic exchange. As all decisions are! Skills, time or money - we are constantly exchanging energy for opportunities, resources or experiences.
But I digress.
I am sitting here, with a full body yes to investing and I haven’t even seen the financials yet. I almost don’t want to see them, as I simply believe in what the company stands for and have used the product myself. Financials are just numbers. The soul of a company is much more important to its staying power and potential impact.
But still, in the back of my mind… I wonder… will this be a “bad” decision?
Going back to those messy divorces - I wonder what all of the divorcees would say. My instinct tells me they wouldn’t say getting married was a bad decision. They gained children, perspective, new relationships because of them. As in, if they had never entered into the marriage that ended in divorce - life would have taken them in another direction. And the only thing they can definitely say is that the things they currently cherish in life would not be guaranteed in that different life direction.
—(If you resonate with this concept, you should read The Midnight Library)—
If I apply this thinking to my investment opportunity, I see the exact same result. That this decision won’t / can’t be bad! And if I zoom one level out, this is the crux of living receptively.
Living a receptive life means following the energy. Diving head first into the full body yes’s. Seeing all of the “maybe’s” and saying HELL NO to them.
Equally, it’s about allowing those full body yes’s to morph into no’s - and parting ways when this arises (read: end the relationship before the marriage, or divorce if you’re married).
Because who is to say that everything we commit our energy to today needs to be present for a lifetime? In fact, it’s quite ridiculous to even think that. At times, there will be things that we choose day in and day out. For me, things like reading, nature, exercise & good food have tended to have some continuity for me throughout the last 10-15 years. Or the more subtle things - like I’ve been playing Monopoly Deal nearly every day for over 2 years … which I definitely didn’t expect to do when I first stumbled across it. But by no means should I expect these things to last forever.
But these are examples in the affirmative. Things with staying power. “What about the things you’ve outgrown, Kelly?” Well I’m glad you asked…
My career is a good example of being receptive and following my energy - always allowing for change to come when my energy begged for it. Two years as an engineer, four in operations, two in customer service, two in product management, and now two in coaching. And a still budding 6 months of writing. A bizarre list when you look at it without context, and yet I never had to force these changes. I never chose them. They just happened. They chose me.
Even before I knew what being receptive meant, I contained the innate knowing that forcing life just wasn’t for me. And if you’re a fellow lover of slowed down living, my guess is it also isn’t for you.
Above all else - when you live receptively, there are no bad decisions. Because when every decision is made based on present moment truth & is aligned to honor your energy … it can always be looked back on as a damn good decision. Your need for resilience wanes, and your ability to notice the winds of change stirring become refined. You no longer feel stuck. Life becomes flowy. The key to a fulfilled life is simply following your energy.
Easier said than done, I know - but more on that later…