Our simple system to foster learning & belonging *outside of work*
[Written May 8, 2024]
Hi friends —
We've been busy here in Womanhood land. Kelly has recently been featured in the Girls That Invest Millionaire Diaries podcast (welcome to all our new subscribers 👋🏽!) alongside 2 other exciting things that we'll be sharing oh-so-soon.
But let's get back to the present.
In this Energy Recipe, Kelly will be showing you how she re-creates the non-financial “perks” of working at a tech company. And actually – how she does it better than any full time ever did it.
Because as you know we love to bang on about… you are ultimately the driver of your destiny. That means whenever you choose to take control of the wheel and make shit happen in an aspect of your life, amazing things are sure to follow.
reaching the top
I remember the day I realized my job could no longer teach me anything.
Ok, I’m being dramatic here — but there was a day I woke up (around 27 ripe years of age) and all of a sudden, I was the teacher. I had accumulated what felt like a mountain of knowledge & wisdom… and I was sharing with the business & my direct reports day in and day out. It felt incredibly rewarding and cultivated a deep sense of success.
…but no one was teaching me! And as a lover of learning, this hit me in a place deep deep down (that place where it hurts the most). Because prior to this learning doomsday, I had always thought of “work” as a reciprocal agreement. I do great work for a company in exchange for it teaching me skills that energize me & exposing me to innovation across industries that interest me.
The day I woke up and realized this was actually not how the world of work worked, it left me feeling bitter and lost. So much so, it's actually the very first “aha moment” that started me on my path to self-employment.
But before we get into that, let's fast forward to 2024 for a hot second.
I spent an entire week in a tech office last week – something I haven't done since 2017. And while upon first entrance I was intoxicated by the buzz and relaxed by the feeling of being taken care of (the kindness of putting tampons on the bathrooms!)… by the end of the week I felt horribly constricted.
It only took 3 days for me to see the forest from the trees. Because while the feeling of community & belonging is something I did acutely miss, it only took me 3 days to remember that I would rather feel a bit more lonely than be forced to work in an office, for set hours, on someone else’s dream, with colleagues that are chosen for me and on projects that are given to me.
Which begs the question…why do we allow work to hold us captive? Not just with a “guaranteed” pay check (because we all know it's hardly even guaranteed anymore), but also with their half ass attempts at continued learning & peer to peer connection.
Well, I know why. Because choosing a way of living that is different is hard. It requires equal parts resilience, determination and confidence most days of the week. Which means you have to be damn sure of why you're doing it. But even more so, you have to have created a “new” life that is even better than the life you left behind.
A lot of people talk about supporting you in finding the “why” as fuel to make hard decisions. Less people talk about the “how” behind making hard decisions feel easier. This is what I want to help you with this today – with a “how to make your self employed life amazing” edition.
a tech company inspired, self-employed way of living
Now, what I'm about to tell you isn't rocket science. But sometimes… someone telling you how exactly they organize their life to feel inspired & energized can go a long way in helping you re-imagine yours. So, here is my ultimate Self-Employed Energy Recipe.
Kelly's Self-Employed Energy Recipe
Ingredient List:
One 6-8 week online, real-time (aka live) course
Three daytime work or interest based events
A single podcast to follow religiously
Instructions: Mix alongside daily “shoulder brushing” through fitness classes, urban walks or online communities before baking.
This is a recipe that takes 6 months to “bake” (and then I get the pleasure of starting again!).
And you might say to me…but Kelly, how do you even know which courses, events & podcasts to indulge in?
If the answer you're looking for is a figure-things-out-quick scheme, you sadly will not find that here. I spent the best part of 2 years cycling through a lot of ingredients (aka hobbies) that didn't taste quite right together. But through this experimentation, I got to know myself really, really well.
I can now say that these 3 ingredients are my happy place, and that whatever I choose for each ingredient every 6 months lives in the realms of human psychology, personal finance, creativity or spirituality. Tangibly, in the first half of 2024 my recipe looked like:
Kelly's H1 2024 Energy Recipe
Course: Curtis Brown's “Fiction for Beginners”
Events: Two meetings at the swanky London Edition hotel with a client, and an upcoming Funding Your Founder Journey finance inspired breakfast
Podcast: Corner Office Breakdowns
Shoulder Brushing: The Old Girls' Club and Coaching Corner slack communities, plus yoga & walks locally
The first half of this year has been incredibly fun and energizing, and I'm currently in the midst of exploring my 6-8 week online course for H2! I'm leaning towards getting a certification in Mindfulness through an MSBR course… though I'm also feeling tempted to explore a course in Somatics, too. Just typing this has me buzzing!!
…and as you might expect, this is a far more aligned buzz than the bro-y tech buzz I felt in that tech office last week. Because sadly, when you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig. We’ve been led to believe that work (especially at tech companies) is somehow different. But sadly, work is still exactly what it sounds like. Work.
And while many of us have been told achieving a fancy title & steady, sizeable pay check from a stable, full-time job is the goal, I hope you are starting to see that it's only one way of achieving the actual goal.
Because what the actual goal is… is creating an environment where we (and those who depend on us) feel both safe & that we belong. It's the goal, because this is the environment that allows us to leave a lasting, positive change in the world. Both in our families, our communities & in the world at large.
The good news is you can create this environment for yourself – from a financial, continuous learning & belonging perspective. It might take a while to get it set up (1-2 years, if you're focused) but it will last a lifetime. It's the same thing our parents are doing as they enter retirement… but now is the time to do it. While you still have a lifetime ahead of you!
So as always, I encourage you to be brave enough to live differently. Experiment in small ways. Build your confidence up little by little. Because we shouldn't ever have to feel like we need to jump off the cliff. Instead, we should feel like we are floating into the next phase of our journey on a hot air balloon. We should be able to enjoy the view, and if we're lucky have a local guide to bring ease to our journey along the way.
Cheers to letting it feel easy 🥂