Ohhhh my days. How many times I’ve heard someone say to me “I have this dream / desire / urge, but now is not a good time”.
Work is busy, you’re low on money, you’ve just met a new love interest.
Mate - news flash. There’s literally never a good time. The best time was yesterday. Always.
Okay… at times, it really isn’t a good time. But when someone continues to come to me saying “now isn’t a good time” I start to think it’s not the timing — instead, it’s them.
I can say this, because something people have always told me is that I’m really good at just doing the thing. I know when it’s about circumstances, and when it’s about fear.
One of the first moments I did something at the wrong time was when I had a desire to start golfing in high school. I happened to tell this to the Men’s golf coach at my high school (my then History teacher) and he promptly whisked me away to the Women’s golf coach to learn more.
I didn’t want to be forced to make a decision quite so quickly - but beautifully that speed didn’t allow me any time to consider all the reasons not to do it (for example, how I was still actively committed to the dance team 😛).
But in just a few minutes the Ladies’ coach convinced me I should quit the dance team in favor of golf … and so I did.
This is the first of many moments I’ve had a similar bias to action. Deciding to study in Sevilla within a few weeks of not getting elected as my sorority’s President (lol). Deciding to make my stay in SF permanent 3 months before I was supposed to move back home to Chicago. Deciding to quit my job at Groupon 6 months after I joined. Deciding to move to London 1 year after moving to LA. Deciding to buy a house in London right after breaking up with a long term British boyfriend. Deciding to leave full time employment behind in the middle of a pandemic. Deciding to have a baby after 1 year of dating my partner. The list goes on and on.
The moral of the story? When I have clarity, I make things happen — and fast. Often in the face of a million reasons not to.
There is 1 decision I did wait to make at the “right” time, which was getting a dog. I had always said when I had a garden, had a flexible job, and traveled less for work I would get one. And funnily enough when those 3 things came to be - I paused!!! I said… am I really ready?
I had been desperate to get a dog for many long years… and when I finally had the means I very nearly choked at the final hurdle in making my dream come true.
Thankfully, given I had had those 3 requirements very clearly defined, and I had just met my partner who was equally excited about having a dog to play with, too. I found myself one morning catapulting into dog ownership - going from looking at dogs online to putting down the deposit for Leo within 72 hours. I had to brute force myself through the fear of having such a big responsibility (another living being!) and made the leap into dog mom hood with my eyes wide shut (but have obviously never regretted it!). In a similar fashion to my other decisions, but with a massive underpinning of fear.
Isn’t it ironic that because I waited for so long to get a dog… I was afraid of getting a dog!
The point here is … the dreams you are putting on hold, well, putting them on hold makes you significantly less likely to do them. Because even if that magically perfect time / person / opportunity arrives… you’re naturally going to make excuses to make the leap. You’re naturally going to feel fear. You’re naturally going to avoid doing the hard thing. You have a long way to fall if this thing you have desired for so long doesn’t live up to your now very high expectations.
So why wait for the right time?
Today is all you’ve got.
Make your dream happen today, in whatever way you can.
This has been a conversation swirling around me as I’ve received quite a few lovely comments as of late about how brave / inspirational / cool I am for (1) traveling for 6 months with a baby and (2) for starting a new childcare business, also with said very young baby.
When my partner and I first started discussing traveling with Mia, we weighed up finances, time away from work, etc etc. I found it very difficult to justify investing upwards of what would have been £30k to facilitate both of us taking 6 months away from work. We paused and deliberated our dream, rather than simply making it happen.
It took us a long while to truly be at peace with spending the money… and we agreed to a compromise of taking 4 months off instead of 6. There was still an edge of fear to this decision, but my partner told his work he’d be taking 4 months of statutory unpaid time off. We committed. Because in the end … aren’t we just saving that £20k for retirement? And isn’t the present moment with our baby girl more precious than our years in our 60’s? Ab-so-frickin-lutely!
And then - just 6 weeks later, the universe delivered. My partner’s work changed their parental leave policy and the time he was taking away would be fully paid. 🤯🤯🤯🤯
Yes, your jaw dropped as far as mine did. Seemingly “lucky”. But reflecting back on all of my crazy decisions that happened at the “wrong” time … well, they all ended up turning out better than I ever could have expected.
I won’t brag my way through this post… but every single one of those poorly timed decisions was life changing for the better. In substantial and often times life changing ways.
So you want to go to Costa Rica for 3 months? You want to experiment with an open relationship? You want to buy a plot of land and a camper van? You want to quit your job to re-skill? You want to take that writing course & get that book started?
Just bloody do it, please.
Today.
In a few years, you’ll look back and see that it changed your life *because* you did it at the “wrong” time.
What I’ve learned is that doing things at the right time isn’t what changes your life.
What changes your life is following your heart desires — and following them as near to the moment you feel them as possible.