Two simple tips to be able to plan less & live more
[Written July 16, 2024]
Hi friends —
In this Energy Recipe, Kelly paints us picture about how living life without a plan has restored her energy. And of course, she outlines the scaffolding she has put in place to support this plan (& ego) free lifestyle.
So if you're a compulsive planner, read on – because as a recovering planning addict herself, Kelly knows how abstract & mind-blowing the idea of truly letting go can be.
living in the land of harmony
Over the last few weeks… something has shifted inside of me. Something big. It's been brewing for a good long while, but finally - what has been a many year cycle completed. What's the cycle, you ask?
As of a few weeks ago… I no longer feel the need to prove myself.
The way this subconscious knowing has manifested has been two fold. I all of a sudden no longer have:
a rigid plan for how I see life unfolding
the desire to share how I am moving through my life
Yes the girl with a backup plan for the backup plan for the backup plan… no longer has a plan! You're as surprised as I am, sista. And it's happening on the micro and the macro levels.
Like, yesterday I had some friends around for lunch. And when I woke up in the morning I still hadn't thought of what I would have to serve for said lunch I had committed to (old me would have thought it through at least a few days prior).
Since these are childhood friends… they were quite confused with my behavior as they asked me multiple times in the lead up to our lunch… "is there anything we can bring?" To which I replied, “I'm not sure yet" 🤣 They probably thought I was off smoking the good stuff!!
In the end, I made it to the supermarket at 11am… still without a plan. I walked in and instead of thinking… I just started walking. As I walked down the aisles, I finally stumbled on the pizzas. “Yum!”, I thought to myself. So I bought 2 pizzas, a bag of Doritos and some grapes, watermelon & prosciutto for nibbles.
While this might seem trivial to many, it was absolutely radical for yours truly. Because it was a tangible example of the more nebulous way I've been approaching the macro decisions in my life. When to have a second baby. Where to move next. How to have my career unfold.
For the last few years, I tried to “figure these out”. I thought very hard about the pros and cons of them all. The interdependencies of them all. The long term impacts of them all.
But in the last few months, I finally let go. I became comfortable with saying I don't know. I told my mind to f*** off and let my body take the wheel.
And just as my body chose the pizzas yesterday, my body made its interests known regarding having a second baby last week. I was ovulating, and it said it's time. As this signal warmed me through… I said to my partner, “what do you think about starting to try for a second baby?"
He replied, “Yeah, maybe.”
I said, “What does maybe mean?”
He said, “Yeah, sounds about right.”
I said, “Ok, I'm ovulating right now so how about we sleep on it & if nothing changes we try starting next month.”
He said, “Ok.”
I laugh as I am typing this because I am not shortening our conversation at all. It was all of 6 sentences, and lasted all of 2 minutes. This was the same style & length of conversation we had when we decided to move in together after knowing each other for ~6 months.
There was nothing to discuss, because both of our bodies had a clear “yes”. Our minds did not get invited to their favorite long-winded table.
I know that it seems overly simple. I know it seems impossible for it to be that easy. I know that the idea of listening to your body can seem abstract. But it's something that once you do it, you can't go back.
Because I did have a lot of more “value add” things I wanted to share with you all. Like my new nervous system regulation framework. Or my latest investment strategy learnings. But it's just not… ready. The process of sharing these things would be… forced. If I chose to sit down and (force myself to) write those newsletters, I'd be doing it because I wanted to prove myself to you.
So instead, I wait. I have set an intention to share these as soon as my body says to. I have carved out the space (through Monday-Friday meditation sessions) to connect to my body. And I have set reminder to check-in on how my body's feelings have evolved about writing these newsletters every 3 weeks.
Meditation & reminders are 2 bits of scaffolding that I continue to leave in place so that today – and every day – I do not slip back into letting my mind rule the show. Saplings require a bit of extra love and care. This plan free life is absolutely a baby tree… and so I must tend to my to it to continue to subconsciously choose to keep my ego at the door.
In doing this, my energy has been abundant in a way I've never experienced before. Living life without a plan… without a busy mind… well, it's the same as living in that blissful state of childlike wonder. And if we know anything… we know that our children have way too much energy. And yet now, I think I know why 🧚🏼♂️